Thursday, July 3, 2008

From the folks who doted for way too long on "caning"....

In the dim dark days, back when I was in college, I used to regularly peruse adult materials. One of the most interesting mags to read at that time was Nugget, the skin mag that had turned from girlie photo spreads and writing by such dedicated toilers as Stephen King to a wholescale fascination with fetishes. Some of these kinks were perfectly understandable, some practically wholesome preoccupations (girl-on-girl) among the straight male of the species.

The magazine also included various things that were not as, well, easy to behold and consider sexy, to some/most of us. Since I am fascinated by things that are deemed sexy by some but that I find rather bizarre (seek out my past blog entry about the since-removed "Deviant Desires" fetish chart that included bug bites, sneezing, and clown shoes as fetishes), I would check out Nugget even as its definitions of "turn-on" started to move further and further afield (boredom in the boardroom? Editors need amusement too).

These included the “Roadside Leak” fascination (’nuff said) and photographic tribs to girls who were missing limbs, sprawled out in sexy lingerie and revealing their stumps. The amputee fetish may not have rung any of my bells, but there are a younger generation of British gentlemen who will now be apprised that, yes, that a girl missing an arm and a leg (or two) is really a hottie worthy of “meditation” (or research, or whatever you’d care to call it), thanks to the new BBC show Missing Top Model.

So, what are the girls missing? Well, an arm or a leg, but they’re not lacking in sensuality, and so they will compete for top prizes, and will no doubt participate in those fucking godawful “talking head” confessional bits that are the single most odious element of reality shows (“so I’m there, and I’m looking her right in the eye, and I can’t believe she’s telling me this…” Shot of girl looking other one in eye. Cut back to “I’m like, ‘uh-huh, that’s not true!’” Flashcut to confessional girl saying, “Uh-huh, that’s not true!” All things must be spoken of as well as seen in the threadbare and oh-so-carefully-prefab reality genre). I guess there are moments when fetishes do truly go “above ground” for a bit, freaking out some of the populace, and introducing the uninitiated into their pleasures. I for one am not so sure about the stump kink (I’m sure the girls are perfectly fine ladies, just as sexy as the next girl, different only in that they possess “one leg too few”). I will note that my perusal of Nugget ended for good when I encountered a fantasy letter that involved a colostomy bag. Anyone ready for another reality series…?

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