Now I move on to the
moment where Allan Sherman truly became “My Son, the Author.”
While his 1965 autobiography A Gift of Laughter
was reportedly ghostwritten – yet many sections are clearly
Sherman's own opinions and wording – his second, and sadly last,
book, The Rape of A*P*E* (American Puritan Ethic), The
Official History of the Sex Revolution 1945-1973, subtitled
“The Obscening of America, An R*S*V*P* Document (Redeeming Social
Value Pornography)” (1973), was his own work from start to finish.
The first thing that distinguishes the book is its length. Rarely does a “new” humorist come up with a nearly 500-page book that tries to both chronicle and mock the history of mankind. Toward the end of the book, Allan notes that he's been writing it for two and a half years. This isn't surprising, given that he clearly assembled (perhaps aided by interns or assistants?) mountains of info that he could use as fodder for sharp points and jokes about American hypocrisy.
The first thing that distinguishes the book is its length. Rarely does a “new” humorist come up with a nearly 500-page book that tries to both chronicle and mock the history of mankind. Toward the end of the book, Allan notes that he's been writing it for two and a half years. This isn't surprising, given that he clearly assembled (perhaps aided by interns or assistants?) mountains of info that he could use as fodder for sharp points and jokes about American hypocrisy.
By the late
Sixties, Sherman's musical career was at a dead end. He had
relationship and health problems, and was undergoing an identity
crisis. He shed his trademark glasses and attempted to lose weight
(the former worked out better than the latter). He grew a beard and
was attempting to reinvent himself as a social satirist.
A*P*E* indicates that he was a very talented humor
writer, but his health problems got the better of him – he died two
months after its publication at the age of 49.
The book charts the progress of Western civilization from the caveman (a simple, primal being that Allan calls “Sap,” short for “homo sapiens”) to the sexual revolution that Sherman dates as having occurred from 1945-'73. His introduction to the concept is terrific:
[pp. 8-9,
paperback edition] If anything is fun, Thou Shalt Not;
The book charts the progress of Western civilization from the caveman (a simple, primal being that Allan calls “Sap,” short for “homo sapiens”) to the sexual revolution that Sherman dates as having occurred from 1945-'73. His introduction to the concept is terrific:
If anything feels good,
Thou Shalt Not;
If anything is natural,
or promises to give pleasure, or even relief,
Thou Shalt
Not. Thou Shalt Not. Thou Shalt Not.
Thus the APE turned us
all into liars and hypocrites.
The APE made us ashamed
of our bodies, our thoughts, our feelings.
The APE robbed us of
certain inalienable rights, and among these rights were sex, nudity
and the pursuit of horniness.
The APE was always with
us — in the street, in the office, in the living room; it haunted
every bedroom and hovered in every toilet. The APE’s most effective
work was done inside our very souls, in those dark unexplored places
we still call by mystical icon-names like id and libido and superego,
and other such mumbo-jumbo. Deep down there, each American came to
believe that he or she was dirty and worse — that everyone else was
clean and wholesome.....
What followed was the
American Sex Revolution, certainly the most lunatic episode since man
crawled out of the primeval ooze. Legions of Lolitas joined the
battle with battalions of Babbitts and platoons of Portnoys. Manners
and moral and great institutions bit the dust. Waterbeds splashed and
vibrators jiggled. And when the air was cleared, people were calling
it The Great Fire-Happening, because the world was never going to be
the same again. No one knew exactly how, but Western civilization had
been caught with its pants down. This book documents the whole
ridiculous experience in a hurry — before we all wake up and start
denying it really happened.
The youth culture of the late Sixties and early Seventies stirred Allan. He clearly responded to its honesty and also its sexual freedom (he had discussed his obsession with sex in his autobiography). The Vietnam War was so repellent to him that he felt motivated to speak directly to college students around the country (see below).
He also reveled in the fact that he was freed from the constraints that ruled his novelty-music career. A*P*E finds him discussing the sex act quite openly as “fucking.” He remained conservative in one regard, though – he clearly loathed rock music. On the other hand, he embraced the changes in comedy that were brought about by Lenny Bruce.
 |
| Two pages from A*P*E* scanned by the Enso On blog. |
A*P*E
isn't a “dirty book,” it's a well-structured, intelligent, and
resolutely moral satire of American hypocrisy. Interestingly Mark
Cohen, the author of the new Sherman bio Overweight
Sensation, claims that “the middle section of the book is
funny," but that the opening and closing portions are full of “hot
air.”
I would argue that the sentimental and Utopian passages that Cohen dislikes are of a piece with the rest of the book – if you're imagining the world through the view of a caveman, it's not inconsistent to then be wistful about the possibility of love in sex, however corny it may sound.
I would argue that the sentimental and Utopian passages that Cohen dislikes are of a piece with the rest of the book – if you're imagining the world through the view of a caveman, it's not inconsistent to then be wistful about the possibility of love in sex, however corny it may sound.
The bulk of the
book is concerned with sex, but Allan also tackles war, religion,
education, the devaluation of women, parents putting down the youth
culture, and (my favorite) the American addiction to “things”:
[pp.
226-227] American technology produces trillions of odds and ends,
curios, whatnots, gadgets, bric-a-brac, trinkets, notions, gewgaws.
There is no scientific name for this incredible conglomeration of
unrelated objects, except — Things.
The Game consisted of making, buying, selling, and/or consuming Things. Things were never out of the American mind, even in the ceremonial greeting, “Hello, How are Things?”
The Game consisted of making, buying, selling, and/or consuming Things. Things were never out of the American mind, even in the ceremonial greeting, “Hello, How are Things?”
Children were imbued
from infancy with a lifetime goal: Try to get all the
Things. Adults realized this was impossible; to them, it
was important to be first to acquire a new Thing.
If a family was successful in acquiring at least one of each Thing,
its members turned to collecting the most of one
Thing.
Some Americans collected only brand-new Things, discarding them at the first sign of wear. Others preferred old Things, used for 100 year or more, with enough cracks and bruises to be called “distressed.” To some Americans it was important to possess big Things; others took special pride in owning miniature Things….
Some Americans collected only brand-new Things, discarding them at the first sign of wear. Others preferred old Things, used for 100 year or more, with enough cracks and bruises to be called “distressed.” To some Americans it was important to possess big Things; others took special pride in owning miniature Things….
A big portion of the
book follows the Everyman caveman “Sap” and his mate “Lala.”
This part of the book is much, much better than it sounds, since it
allows Allan to ridicule our most sacred institutions by viewing them
from the perspective of a simple, uncomplicated individual.In the best section of the story of “Sap,” the caveman encounters a figured named “Dawg-muh” who outlines to him the different kinds of actions that humans undertake (“dassendooz” “shoodnadunnits” “fessups”) that require them to confess and pledge allegiance to the dubious moral code that is religion.
After he becomes acquainted with religion, “Sap” learns about the ways that countries must fight to the death over a plot of land, and how one can “own” property but there are many things one can't get away with on one's property:
Walk around naked on
your private lawn.
Plant marijuana in your
private garden.
Sell or rent your
private property to any of the following:
A hippie commune, an
abortion clinic, a Methadone treatment center, a branch of Alcoholics
Anonymous or Synanon, the Church of Satan, a black family, a mixed
(black and white) family, a Spanish-speaking family.
Make a gift of your
property to Fidel Castro, to do with as he wishes.
Try to give it to a
friendly government like England.
When the tax assessor
comes around, tell him you're starting your own country on your land
and that from now he'll have to pay you
taxes.
The book is a very funny one, but Sherman clearly also had a serious purpose. At one point, in talking about “the new violence” in the U.S., he discusses battered children. Here he uses his old friend from A Gift of Laughter, italics. He notes that his editor didn't like the “sudden complete change of tone. It isn't funny.” Allan's answer is that “life was still funny, but a different kind of funny. On November 22, 1963, America entered the What-the-Hell era, and real life became indistinguishable from black humor.”
A few pages earlier, before discussing the American love of guns, he offers the formula that begat the Warren Commission: “When confused, try to bring everybody else to your level of confusion. Appoint a commission and while they study the problem for a year, make sure everybody will forget the whole thing. Then, to make sure nobody gets too clear a picture of what happened, arrange for the most important evidence to be locked up for 75 years.”
The most
interesting thing about the book is the way that Sherman (who was
46-49 at the time he was writing the book) indicts his age group and
sides with the youth culture. Early on in A*P*E*,
he coincidentally uses the later Tom Brokaw encomium about those who
served in WWII by calling that same group “the greatest generation
of hypocrites.” He maintains that the hypocrisy existed for the
most part because “we were jealous of our own children.”
He refers to attending school as “your daily penance for being a child.” He also wryly notes how kids wise up to the lies told in advertisements: “ABSOLUTELY FREE, the coupon says – but the small print says you have to spend four dollars to get the 'free' prize. The 'giant' malts at the drugstore are served in glasses with fake bottoms. The candy bars made to look an inch longer by the cardboard inside the wrapping.” He begins the section: “By the time you're a teenager you've been had a thousand times.”
He zeroes in on one mythic figure of the post-war period, Sonny Wisecarver, a teenager who had a series of sexual affairs (and marriages) with older wives/moms who left their husbands for him. Allan includes a quote from the judge who was examining the 16-year-old Wisecarver's records before he married him to a 25-year-old who left her husband for him. The judge called him “an incorrigible sexual delinquent,” but added, “You've won your spurs as a man.”
I've been emphasizing the more serious side of Sherman's social criticism in this review, because A*P*E* does indeed stand as a fascinating reflection of the time in which it was written (and the thoughts of a comedian who was striking out in a new direction).
I noted when talking about Sherman's autobiography A Gift of Laughter that he identified with sad and lonely people. Here he discusses the honesty and strangeness of personal ads (“I am a male who is female and I want a female who is male. No men. Tom. PO Box XXX, Pasadena Calif.”). He concludes this section by declaring “Now at last we could gauge the range of the American Dirty Mind – and estimate the unfathomable depth of loneliness in America.”
He refers to attending school as “your daily penance for being a child.” He also wryly notes how kids wise up to the lies told in advertisements: “ABSOLUTELY FREE, the coupon says – but the small print says you have to spend four dollars to get the 'free' prize. The 'giant' malts at the drugstore are served in glasses with fake bottoms. The candy bars made to look an inch longer by the cardboard inside the wrapping.” He begins the section: “By the time you're a teenager you've been had a thousand times.”
He zeroes in on one mythic figure of the post-war period, Sonny Wisecarver, a teenager who had a series of sexual affairs (and marriages) with older wives/moms who left their husbands for him. Allan includes a quote from the judge who was examining the 16-year-old Wisecarver's records before he married him to a 25-year-old who left her husband for him. The judge called him “an incorrigible sexual delinquent,” but added, “You've won your spurs as a man.”
I've been emphasizing the more serious side of Sherman's social criticism in this review, because A*P*E* does indeed stand as a fascinating reflection of the time in which it was written (and the thoughts of a comedian who was striking out in a new direction).
I noted when talking about Sherman's autobiography A Gift of Laughter that he identified with sad and lonely people. Here he discusses the honesty and strangeness of personal ads (“I am a male who is female and I want a female who is male. No men. Tom. PO Box XXX, Pasadena Calif.”). He concludes this section by declaring “Now at last we could gauge the range of the American Dirty Mind – and estimate the unfathomable depth of loneliness in America.”
I will close out
with perhaps my favorite concept in the book, one that Allan calls
“thinkery-fuckery.” in his first discussion of it he emphasizes
“how difficult it is to stop thinking.” He asks the reader to set
aside the book and try for ten seconds not to think of a zebra. He
then says that that will be all we will think
about, in an effort to show how impossible it is to stop thinking
while having sex.
Much later in the book he returns to “thinkery-fuckery” to examine the “subtle gradations” of what we think about while we're having sex. Naturally the notion of specific tastes come into play:
[pp.
314-315] If you are on the receiving end of one of these specialized
fucks, you have to suddenly ask yourself: “Why is he/she fucking
me? Is it my tits, my money, my membership in the Bel-Air Golf Club?”
Whatever it is, it isn't you. Once you begin to realize that people
find your tits attractive, you react in one of two ways: Either you
go around pushing your tits in everybody's face, or you try to hide
them, hoping that someone will see some of your other marvelous
qualities.
Unfortunately specialization has a way of becoming even more specialized. Soon people will fall in love with you because of your left nostril, or the fact that you own a 1913 Liberty-head nickel, or because you can sing “I Wish I Was in Dixie” in perfect Swahili.
Much later in the book he returns to “thinkery-fuckery” to examine the “subtle gradations” of what we think about while we're having sex. Naturally the notion of specific tastes come into play:
Unfortunately specialization has a way of becoming even more specialized. Soon people will fall in love with you because of your left nostril, or the fact that you own a 1913 Liberty-head nickel, or because you can sing “I Wish I Was in Dixie” in perfect Swahili.
He then offers a list of “specialists” who can't stop thinking about the type of people they're fucking. One of the best entries is called “statisticians”:
A*P*E*
is both a fascinating time capsule and a very funny – and, yes,
sorta wistful – history of attitudes towards sex in the post-war
period. It is indeed sad that Allan kicked off just as a second
career seemed to be opening up for him.
*****
Here are a few great related videos. Although Sherman's comedic songs were all “rated G,” some of them jibe perfectly with his views in A*P*E*. For instance, the tale of an ex-urbanite couple, “Harvey and Sheila” (especially the line about the moment the couple “switched to the GOP/that’s the way things go…”). The song starts at 13:49.
*****
Here are a few great related videos. Although Sherman's comedic songs were all “rated G,” some of them jibe perfectly with his views in A*P*E*. For instance, the tale of an ex-urbanite couple, “Harvey and Sheila” (especially the line about the moment the couple “switched to the GOP/that’s the way things go…”). The song starts at 13:49.
This is the most pertinent clip, but sadly it's also the least funny. It's audio of Allan speaking at UCLA in late 1970. He speaks about the Vietnam War and gets into a rather lengthy routine about “Agnew-grams” – short statements that reflect the narrow views of then-Vice-Pres Spiro Agnew (presumably the funny part is that Allan is switching around letters on a screen to make the words... but we can't see that...):
A much sillier and shorter clip, Sherman on a variety show doing “Secret Code” (his variation on “Secret Love”):
Even snappier, here he is on The Hollywood Palace singing “Crazy Downtown” and dueting with host Tony Randall on “One Hippopotami”:
There are a few other pertinent clips, including Sherman doing a campaign song for Lyndon Johnson at a rally – one assumes that, like many others, he felt sold out by LBJ. Also, a tune from a later album by Allan, his spoof of “Spanish Flea” by Herb Alpert and the Tijuana Brass (as I noted above, he couldn't deal with rock, since he disliked it so much).
The piece of music he released that has the most to do with the opinions he expresses in A*P*E* is his variation on “Peter and the Wolf,” Peter and the Commissar. This album is not included in the big Rhino box set of Sherman's music, because it was recorded for a different label (RCA Red Seal). Recorded with the Boston Pops, the piece expresses his loathing for bureaucracy and conformity. It's a charming piece, mostly because it is so unabashedly emotional (according to his autobiography, he took its creation very seriously).
Note: this blog entry is intended as a enthusiastic review of a book that has been out of print for four decades at the time of writing. If the Sherman family or other rights holders have any objections, contact me at the Media Funhouse site.
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